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A collection of thoughts...
The creative muse
does the work of dreams
forcing us into our subconscious mind
demanding we discover our deeper selves
She cares not for how others perceive your work
or if you will find success
She only cares that you fine tune your soul
and learn to trust her process
Lose yourself in the projects she presents
and find who you were meant to be
LAS, Harry Reed Intl Airport Floor, Jan. 2022
Art is manifestation of the spirit
and there are no regulations on how the soul should present itself.
Mine is currently presenting as delicately woven intricacies of imperfection.
I'm quite happy with that.
New York, Dec. 2021
What dreams are these
of peaceful walks
Hands gently entwined
as a melody of tranquil birdsong trembles through the branches.
The rustling of leaves underfoot
as we slow our steps
to listen
and absorb
this moment of magic.
Fort Worth Botanic Gardens, April, 2022
Long afternoon
shadows
lingering past
the moment
Stretching back
as if to stop time
holding on
to those we've met
along the way
a little longer
a little longer
SoHo, Dec. 2021
We sit in the middle
between our past and our future.
Living our lives in memories and dreams.
Existing as an ethereal reality within our minds,
delicate and fading,
attempting to decipher meaning
behind the images
and scenes
that float
beyond the haze.
New York, puddle near WTC, Dec. 2021
The fog wrapped its arms around the city
lovingly.
Covering flaws
Embracing humanity
Elevating them into the clouds.
...
Yet, they didn't know
because they couldn't see.
New York as seen from Jersey City, Dec. 2022
At times it felt like drowning
Darkness descending as I sank deep into a cavernous abyss
Coerced by an invisible force
The outside world becoming muffled and blurry
An intense heaviness dragging me down
This incomprehensible gravity beckoning.
I tried to swim against it
Desperately seeking the surface
The shallows
Somewhere I could stand.
I tried distracting myself
Chasing love
Empty conversations
Endless endeavors
Superficial entertainments to keep me from the discomfort of approaching this throbbing, raw part of my being, menacing in its attempt to be known.
It pushed on my ribs
And sucked the air out of my lungs
Made my heart hammer in my chest
And my thoughts turn against myself
Yet still, I kept it hidden.
False smiles
People pleasing
Numbing it with validation
Seeking assurance after assurance after assurance...
False hopes.
Then finally,
brave enough to enter,
Locating the source of my pain
Astonished to discover that the source was me.
The me I buried in order to fit in
The me I turned against convinced she would be dismissed
My anxiety and negative thoughts stemming from the abandonment of my own essence.
The rejection I always feared from others was based on a desertion of my own spirit.
And so slowly
I embraced her
I set her voice free
I began to understand that my flaws do not negate my worth.
That maybe the grand journey of life is to embrace that tiny beating part of our souls that longs to be accepted and share it with the world
Maybe this vulnerability is what connects us
Maybe this openness helps others begin their own journey
Maybe this journey is life.
Maybe this life is love.
Composite self portrait with view from window, Dec. 2021
Cocoon yourself in silence
protected against the painful shards of broken attention
offers of love as surface connections
supplying sustenance in the form of empty praise and false flatteries
Cocoon yourself or you will surely eagerly consume this insufficient diet.
hoping they see you
hoping it is enough
but they never do
and it never is
wrap yourself in softness, assured of your path
allow their eyes to remain accustomed only to the limited shallows.
leave them there gently
avoiding the turbulent energy of attempting to convince them otherwise
Things are different now
you, enclosed within, have grown
Therefore, train your thoughts
Morph them from the present to the future
Stand on the shoulders of the woman you will be, the one you are becoming
She is strong
You can trust her
The shallow waters of empty flattery are no place to find her
She does not live there
She exists only where the eyes cannot reach
She hears only those brave enough to approach her in that place.
Knowing it is better to dwell in the depths completely alone that to drown at the surface where her soul cannot breathe.
She waits to make room for those who willingly and longingly dive into the deepest parts of her being
where the shallows have no sway
Where the light is only visible to those who have taken the time to dwell in their own spirit
In silence
and in softness
and so the world expands
in silence and
in softness
Self Portrait January 2022
Drifting in a fragmented space
of emergence and withdraw
Reaching back longingly for that soft cocoon of isolation
while simultaneously stretching forward into connectedness
Downtown Dallas, Oct. 2022
I am drawn by the symmetrically
balanced harmony of opposing realms
The peaceful unity of this and that
A merging of worlds
inherently different
Intrinsically the same
existing as one
until the wind blows.
until the wind stops.
just as I.
Trammell Crow Park, Dallas, Nov. 2022
He calls birds gently
down from the sky
allured by languages never known
every sense awakened
to perceptions before unnoticed;
a rustling in the leaves,
a flutter of wings,
the wispy, ethereal chirps of a bunting
or the mechanical cacophony of grackles
stopping to listen
to wait
to see
the magic this man has brought me.
I float happily into his enchantment
just like the birds
he calls gently down from the sky.
Galveston, May 2022
Birds of Broadway
Listen...
You can almost hear their wings
That sudden flutter
A moment of panic
Turning quickly to laughter
Eye contact with strangers
Excitement in the mundane.
God, I love moments like that.
City Hall Park, NY Dec. 2021
When the advent of your awakening
bestows an opportunity to fly
Do not stay tethered to the ground that held you in your growth
Though the valley became a comfort
and the pain became a friend
They were only meant to be yours for a season.
The sky is waiting.
Jersey City, December 2021
I had a dream last night
Throngs of people
Some I've known
Some I haven't
walking with an urgent purpose in a well-lit, sparse, circular hallway.
All proceeding in the same direction
This assumed purpose was not evident, however.
That didn't matter.
We were smiling
We were happy
We walked enthusiastically
to a destination unknown
We knocked on the walls so that we would be heard.
Each one encouraged by the actions of another
Some people stayed in one place
watching the procession of our parade.
With every lap completed, they compulsively adorned the walls with a new flower
Making the hallway more beautiful with each turn.
And that was the dream.
And maybe that is the purpose
This life, right now, can feel so monotonous
Stuck in this endless cycle
But maybe, with every new day, we can add some flowers to our walls.
Beautifying our little spot in the world
We can smile to faces along the way.
We can take each step with mindful cheerfulness
though the journey's end is not easily known.
We can knock on walls and make our voices heard
generating energy to help others along the way.
Yes.
Maybe...
that is the purpose.
New York, December 2021
Sometimes my mind will obsessively ruminate
over the million and one ways
I have assuredly or allegedly fallen short in a day.
Those days are hard.
And sometimes my mind will be gentle with flaws,
allowing room to be imperfect
staying far from assumptions
and applying wisdom to mistakes.
Those days are nice.
And sometimes I realize that neither mindset is fixed,
that life is fluid and change is constant,
living for the moment that is, not what is past or yet to be.
Those days are best.
Hagerman Wildlife Refuge, September 2022
Abstract forms in the distance
creating mysteries of strangers
We are all quite muddled from afar.
Impressionistic realizations of the beauty of life.
Distant restroom at Dos Equis Pavilion, August 2022
And perhaps sometimes
we become very small and tiny
Holding our breath as we hug into ourselves
Resting
Waiting
Until we find the strength
to slowly reach a bare foot down to the ground
absorbing energy from the earth
lifting our eyes skyward
expanding our lungs
we grow again
and again
and again
Galveston, TX, May 2022
We could all just breathe
Cast aside the never-ending news cycle
and need to know all things
the idea of perfection
and shame of mistakes
We could all just breathe
and be
imperfectly beautiful
and content within ourselves
happy to exist on this glowing planet
with sunrises and sunsets
and thunderstorms
and clouds
with birds soaring overhead
and lush grass beneath our feet.
We could all just breathe.
Arlington, January 2022
Shadow exits stage left.
Levitt Pavilion, Arlington, June 2022