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A collection of thoughts...

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The creative muse 

does the work of dreams

forcing us into our subconscious mind

demanding we discover our deeper selves

She cares not for how others perceive your work

or if you will find success

 She only cares that you fine tune your soul

and learn to trust her process

Lose yourself in the projects she presents

and find who you were meant to be

LAS, Harry Reed Intl Airport Floor, Jan. 2022

Art is manifestation of the spirit

and there are no regulations on how the soul should present itself.

Mine is currently presenting as delicately woven intricacies of imperfection.

I'm quite happy with that.

New York, Dec. 2021

What dreams are these 

of peaceful walks

Hands gently entwined

as a melody of tranquil birdsong trembles through the branches.

The rustling of leaves underfoot

as we slow our steps

to listen

and absorb

this moment of magic.

Fort Worth Botanic Gardens, April, 2022

Long afternoon

shadows

lingering past

the moment

Stretching back

as if to stop time

holding on

to those we've met

along the way

a little longer

a little longer

SoHo, Dec. 2021

We sit in the middle

between our past and our future.

Living our lives in memories and dreams.

Existing as an ethereal reality within our minds,

delicate and fading,

attempting to decipher meaning

behind the images

and scenes

that float

beyond the haze.

New York, puddle near WTC, Dec. 2021

The fog wrapped its arms around the city

lovingly.

Covering flaws

Embracing humanity

Elevating them into the clouds.

...

Yet, they didn't know

because they couldn't see.

New York as seen from Jersey City, Dec. 2022

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At times it felt like drowning

Darkness descending as I sank deep into a cavernous abyss

Coerced by an invisible force

The outside world becoming muffled and blurry

An intense heaviness dragging me down

This incomprehensible gravity beckoning.

I tried to swim against it

Desperately seeking the surface

The shallows

Somewhere I could stand.

I tried distracting myself

Chasing love

Empty conversations

Endless endeavors

Superficial entertainments to keep me from the discomfort of approaching this throbbing, raw part of my being, menacing in its attempt to be known.

It pushed on my ribs

And sucked the air out of my lungs

Made my heart hammer in my chest

And my thoughts turn against myself

Yet still, I kept it hidden.

False smiles

People pleasing

Numbing it with validation

Seeking assurance after assurance after assurance...

False hopes.

Then finally,

brave enough to enter,

Locating the source of my pain

Astonished to discover that the source was me.

The me I buried in order to fit in

The me I turned against convinced she would be dismissed

My anxiety and negative thoughts stemming from the abandonment of my own essence.

The rejection I always feared from others was based on a desertion of my own spirit.

And so slowly

I embraced her

I set her voice free

I began to understand that my flaws do not negate my worth.

That maybe the grand journey of life is to embrace that tiny beating part of our souls that longs to be accepted and share it with the world

Maybe this vulnerability is what connects us

Maybe this openness helps others begin their own journey

Maybe this journey is life.

Maybe this life is love. 

Composite self portrait with view from window, Dec. 2021

Cocoon yourself in silence

protected against the painful shards of broken attention

offers of love as surface connections

supplying sustenance in the form of empty praise and false flatteries

Cocoon yourself or you will surely eagerly consume this insufficient diet.

hoping they see you

hoping it is enough

 but they never do

 and it never is

wrap yourself in softness, assured of your path

allow their eyes to remain accustomed only to the limited shallows.

leave them there gently

avoiding the turbulent energy of attempting to convince them otherwise

Things are different now

you, enclosed within,  have grown

Therefore, train your thoughts

Morph them from the present to the future

Stand on the shoulders of the woman you will be, the one you are becoming

She is strong

You can trust her

The shallow waters of empty flattery are no place to find her

She does not live there

She exists only where the eyes cannot reach

She hears only those brave enough to approach her in that place.

Knowing it is better to dwell in the depths completely alone that to drown at the surface where her soul cannot breathe.

She waits to make room for those who willingly and longingly dive into the deepest parts of her being

where the shallows have no sway

Where the light is only visible to those who have taken the time to dwell in their own spirit

In silence

and in softness

and so the world expands

in silence and 

in softness

Self Portrait January 2022

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Drifting in a fragmented space

of emergence and withdraw

Reaching back longingly for that soft cocoon of isolation

while simultaneously stretching forward into connectedness

Downtown Dallas, Oct. 2022

I am drawn by the symmetrically 

balanced harmony of opposing realms

The peaceful unity of this and that

A merging of worlds

inherently different

Intrinsically the same

existing as one

until the wind blows.

until the wind stops.

just as I.

Trammell Crow Park, Dallas, Nov. 2022

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He calls birds gently 

down from the sky

allured by languages never known

every sense awakened 

to perceptions before unnoticed;

a rustling in the leaves,

a flutter of wings,

the wispy, ethereal chirps of a bunting

or the mechanical cacophony of grackles

stopping to listen

to wait

to see 

the magic this man has brought me.

I float happily into his enchantment

just like the birds

he calls gently down from the sky.

Galveston, May 2022

Birds of Broadway

Listen...

You can almost hear their wings

That sudden flutter

 A moment of panic

Turning quickly to laughter 

Eye contact with strangers

Excitement in the mundane.

God, I love moments like that.

City Hall Park, NY Dec. 2021

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When the advent of your awakening

bestows an opportunity to fly

Do not stay tethered to the ground that held you in your growth

Though the valley became a comfort

and the pain became a friend

They were only meant to be yours for a season.

The sky is waiting.

Jersey City, December 2021

I had a dream last night

Throngs of people 

Some I've known

Some I haven't

walking with an urgent purpose in a well-lit, sparse, circular hallway.

All proceeding in the same direction

This assumed purpose was not evident, however.

That didn't matter.

We were smiling

We were happy

We walked enthusiastically

to a destination unknown

We knocked on the walls so that we would be heard.

Each one encouraged by the actions of another

Some people stayed in one place

watching the procession of our parade.

With every lap completed, they compulsively adorned the walls with a new flower

Making the hallway more beautiful with each turn.

And that was the dream.

And maybe that is the purpose

This life, right now, can feel so monotonous

Stuck in this endless cycle

But maybe, with every new day, we can add some flowers to our walls.

Beautifying our little spot in the world

We can smile to faces along the way.

We can take each step with mindful cheerfulness

though the journey's end is not easily known. 

We can knock on walls and make our voices heard

generating energy to help others along the way. 

Yes.

Maybe... 

 

that is the purpose.

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New York, December 2021

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Sometimes my mind will obsessively ruminate

over the million and one ways

I have assuredly or allegedly fallen short in a day.

Those days are hard.

And sometimes my mind will be gentle with flaws,

allowing room to be imperfect

staying far from assumptions 

and applying wisdom to mistakes.

Those days are nice.

And sometimes I realize that neither mindset is fixed,

that life is fluid and change is constant,

living for the moment that is, not what is past or yet to be.

Those days are best.

Hagerman Wildlife Refuge, September 2022

Abstract forms in the distance

creating mysteries of strangers

We are all quite muddled from afar.

Impressionistic realizations of the beauty of life.

Distant restroom at Dos Equis Pavilion, August 2022

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And perhaps sometimes

we become very small and tiny

Holding our breath as we hug into ourselves

Resting

Waiting

Until we find the strength 

to slowly reach a bare foot down to the ground

absorbing energy from the earth

lifting our eyes skyward

expanding our lungs

we grow again

and again

and again

Galveston, TX, May 2022

We could all just breathe

Cast aside the never-ending news cycle

and need to know all things

the idea of perfection

and shame of mistakes

We could all just breathe

and be

imperfectly beautiful

and content within ourselves

happy to exist on this glowing planet

with sunrises and sunsets

and thunderstorms 

and clouds

with birds soaring overhead

and lush grass beneath our feet.

We could all just breathe.

Arlington, January 2022

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Shadow exits stage left.

Levitt Pavilion, Arlington, June 2022

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